‘The moon invented natural rhythm. Civilization uninvented it. Princess Leigh-Cheri would have liked to reinvent it, but at that point she hadn’t a clue. She had ovened that rubber cookie called the diaphragm and gotten pregnant anyway. Many women do. She had played hostess to that squiggly metallic houseguest who goes by his initials, IUD, and suffered cramps and infections. Many women do. She had, in desperation and against her fundamental instincts, popped the pill. She became ill, physically and emotionally. Many women do. She had experimented with the jellies and jams, creams and goops, sprays and suppositories, powders and foams, gels and gunks, only to discover her romantic personality repulsed by the technological textures, industrial odors, and napalm flavors. Many romantic personalities are. This constant battle with the reproductive process…was gnawing with plastic teeth at her very concepts of love. Was it entirely paranoid to suspect that all those stoppers, thingamajigs, and substances devised to prevent conception were intended not to liberate womankind from the biological and social penalties imposed on her natural passions but, rather, at the insidious design of capitalistic puritans, were supposed to technologize sex, to dilute its dark juices, to contain its wilder fires, to censor its sweet nastiness, to scrub it clean…to order it uniform, to render it safe; to eliminate the risk of uncontrollable feelings, illogical commitments, and deep involvements (substituting for those risks the less mysterious, tamer risks of infection, hemorrhage, cancer and hormone imbalance); yes, to make sexual love so secure and same and sanitary…so casual that it is not a manifestation of love at all, but a near anonymous, near autonomous, hedonistic scratching of a bunny itch, an itch far removed from any direct relation to the feverish enigmas of life and death, and a scratching programmed so that it would in no way interfere with the real purpose of human beings in a capitalistic, puritanical society, which is to produce goods and consume them?’ 💦🌹🌕🐚 -Still Life With Woodpecker- Tom Robbins August, 1980

DreamLife/Message/SoulMate
•••
A Love Letter written with my eyes closed and my heart open:
•••
Last night in my dreams we found ourselves in a place that was familiar yet strange.
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Confused and alone we never left each other’s side. Your fingers would brush mine as we walked and when we stood together, pondering what to do next, our bodies touched; a delicate electric rush as my skin grazed your skin.
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I had this dream before- in the long ago time before I knew what it was like to lie next to you at night, in the time before we knew what it was like to face what real life presented to us each day, month, year. In a time before love, before intimacy, before betrayal, before heartbreak, before forgiveness.
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In that dream we also walked together. The place was dark and filled with night sounds and abandoned villas; strange but familiar. In that dream we were devoted and determined to never leave our love behind.
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And yet, in that dream, I found a way back to familiar ground. I reached a way out but was not strong enough to save you, too.
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That dream has haunted me and has only become more vivid as the years have gone by, for much of that dream-journey came true in waking life.
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Last night we were together in dream again: Different place, same storyline. This time, too, separation was unavoidable. Your love had finally given up. Your heart did not trust that mine would be able to stay strong, stay true and no one can blame you for that.
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I woke up in a wave of sweat and sadness and tears. I knew you were choosing to walk forward without me. I took a deep breath of air. I drew in clarity; a knowledge my mind had not held before this moment.
•••
The new dream and old dream now meet in balance. No more push, no more pull. No more questions, no more second guessing. Sometimes we need opposite messages in order to find solidity in the real world.
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We can choose to watch, listen, feel and learn when our dreams give us insight or we can allow these messages to fade away with the rising sun.
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I came here to be in that balance.
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I came here to feel something real.
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I came here to find you.
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And you? You have taught me more than any dream could.
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Because of these visions we came together.
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Because of you we still are.
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PRAYERS for THE UNKNOWN
🐚
There are days I wake up feeling scattered - Out of my body and deep within my dreams.
Instead of choosing to turn and face the messages that my dream-intuition show me, I run from them.
We all know it is easier to allow ourselves to become consumed and absorbed into the monotonous safety of every day life.
🌊
This year I want to focus on being open to this Sight that I have. It has always been easier to deny my ability to “See” and “Know”, but that denial has created some difficult paths and I’m done struggling.
I look forward to reminding myself to experiment with those days where I feel “scattered”. Perhaps I am not scattered at all.
My new theory, for myself and others who want to explore this side more, is that those are the days we are more in-tune with life/force/sight/power. We are not scattered, we are feeling something important that demands our attention.
🌑
We all have an ability to seek truth in the clues that present themselves to us, but so many choose to stay closed off from that OR were never taught to Stay Open.
We deserve to see who and what we are // are becoming.
Sometimes the The World we’ve found ourselves in currently doesn’t allow the time and space to explore.
But that is slowly changing.
☁️
I’m ready to claim my chance to be curious.
☁️
If something calls to you- explore it. If a dream scares you- hold it to your heart and ask it what is wrong.
If you feel pent up intuitive energy clawing at you- open up some windows and give it space to breathe.

🕯🌙

Sometimes as I am scrolling along, this view swings into focus, making my stomach flip over. For a brief moment, I don’t know why because my mind has already categorized it into Dream.

And then (⚡️) I remember this was no dream, only real life- the most real it has ever been. And my stomach is in knots because I’m homesick for a place that does not exist for me anymore.